Just Ten Things

These are the 10 things that Anton thinks about on his long walk home from work on September 14:

*The Existence of Weird Hobbies That Actually Have a Legit and Lengthy History (Teabag Folding would be number one, especially after his chat to Lou in the office kitchen)

*People He Can’t Figure Out (Lou would top the list: how come she so frequently talked to him like she’d wither if they verbally broke away from each other for even two seconds; and yet so often, answer his questions so baldly and without emotion, like she was being cross-examined against her will?)

*Can You Be Polite To The Point of Being Rude? (Is Lou just being polite to him? Is she just tolerating him out of some straitjacketed sense of courtesy? And if so, isn’t that kinda rude and offensive and dishonest?)

*On The Topic of Bogus Things, Whatever Happened To Alex Winter? (And while he was thinking about it: Dana Carvey? Must be weird playing second fiddle to actors who later had careers that eclipsed yours in every way. And Samantha Mathis, who only ever had bit parts really, but hell, she was quite foxy!)

*The Number of Animals He’d Never See First-hand (One, aardvarks: but probably because he never really knew what they looked like - even though they always had early appearances in alphabet picture books. Zebras, on the other hand, were very distinct-looking, but unlikely to cross his path to work. Also on the list: polecats, polar bears and porcupines. Sharks, hopefully never. Killer bees as well. It’d be a safe bet that he wouldn’t be nodding any salutes with velociprators though.)

*Pets Are Usually Kept By Boring People (Maybe Lou would hang out with him more if she didn’t have two hamsters and a slobber-happy dog.)

*Pi is The Only Freaky Number People Know, Besides The Obvious Ones (Are there any other fancy numbers besides pi? Pi is totally at the top of the food chain of mathematical numbers that aren’t just boring whole numbers.)

*Distraction Is Not A Bad Thing (Sure, his mind flipflops all over the place, but that’s just curiosity and a keenness about the world. And anyway, he really does listen to Lou, in fact he listens to everything she says, and nothing kills him more than when she doesn’t say a word.)

*Money is Often The Only Reason People Interract With Each Other (After that long silly chat about teabag folding in the morning, he didn’t see Lou again really. His only excuse for dropping by her desk - the only one he could conjure that wouldn’t totally weird her out - was to drop off some change for tomorrow’s coffee run. It felt dumb and impersonal to fall back on that, but it was the only available currency he could use to detour so obviously out of his usual way to find her desk. And then he chatted to the people in Accounts, ‘cos, shit, you have to be nice to them because you’d never want your pay to be late.)

*Isn’t It Weird and Fascinating That Everything Has A History? (Even the coins he left on Lou’s desk were steeped in years and layers of finger prints and time spent cushioned in different wallets and back packets. And even abstract concepts (the number zero, for instance) or boring unnoticeable things (like dust), they had had books dedicated to their time-spanning existence. And even if this - what would you call it? - thing with Lou had no future, it definitely had a past that flittered around him like the leaves that enveloped the streets on his way home.